As well as being the author of this relationships blog, I also have Aspergers Syndrome. There are millions of people worldwide with Aspergers Syndrome. Many adults go undiagnosed so the official statistics don’t paint a true picture of the scale of the Aspergers community.
As an adult Aspergirl in a relationship with a non Aspergers male, there have been many points in our relationship where the fact that we see life so differently has caused problems between us.
I’ve only recently become aware that I have Aspergers, and set about reading as much as I could on the subject. I came across a book called Aspergers in Love which was written by a couple. Keith Newton has Aspergers and Sarah Hendricks is NT (NT means neurotypical and is the name given to people who do not have an ASD). It’s an extremely insightful book as it gives both perspectives for many situations which occur within relationships. Keith shares his opinion, and then Sarah shares hers.
The story begins with Sarah sharing her bewilderment with Keith’s response to a loving text she has sent him. In a soppy moment she texted him “When I am 40, I would like to go to Vegas, marry you and see Barry (Manilow)” If you are an Aspie, you will understand his response, but it is a good example of how our different communication style can cause upset and confusion in our close relationships. Keith’s response was “How about you marry Johnny Vegas in Barry, Glamorgan?!” (The book is set in the UK so you may not recognise the place names, but you get the drift of how confusing it was)
Both myself and my partner read this book. I immediately saw what Keith had done by playing with the words. My partner shared Sarah’s confusion. By reading this book together, we were able to discuss these differences, and it has had a positive impact on our relationship.
So, if you struggle with your partner’s thought processes and find them totally different to yours, you may want to consider whether one of you has Aspergers Syndrome. If you discover you or they have Aspergers, or already know this to be the case, you would both benefit from reading this book.
This is a link to an online test you can take to determine your likelihood of having Aspergers Syndrome: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
I should add that this is only an indication, not an official diagnosis. You should visit your Physician or Psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis.
You can purchase the book from Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Story-Keith-Newton/dp/1843105403/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1286710639&sr=8-1