Delusions and More Delusions

October 12, 2010

My delusions, as out there as they were, are actually common to many people with schizophrenia. I find it strange that two people, as different as they might be, might have the same delusions, but this is how it seems to be.

The first theme that my delusions took was that people I knew were aliens, and that they were reading my mind. I thought that I was being integrated into alien culture, and that the T.V., radio and newspapers had hidden messages in them that were specifically for me. The second theme was that I was the second coming of Jesus Christ. I thought that all of my college friends were angels preparing me for my mission to somehow bring peace to the world. A third theme was that the world of astrology was completely true. Everyone’s personality was completely based on the signs of the zodiac, and your birth chart said everything there was to know about you. It was the age of Aquarius, which to me meant that everyone was metaphorically underwater, and the signs that had a water element to them were comfortable in society, while everyone else felt more socially awkward (strange I know).

I would say that with the exception of the last theme, my delusions were quite typical of people with schizophrenia. The paranoia that comes with the belief that aliens are reading your mind and the grandiosity that comes with the thought that you are Jesus are central to the schizophrenic experience. Although different individuals may not have the exact same themes to their delusions, things like paranoia and grandiosity are what their delusions are often based on.

My insight into my own illness came when I learned of this similarity. I was reading articles online and came across an article describing experiences similar to mine. The author of the article had schizophrenia, and at that moment I knew that I had schizophrenia as well. I finally had some confirmation that my thoughts were actually delusions and not reality, and this is what snapped me back into taking medication and getting help.